Horror-scope

Ok. I'm letting you in to my innermost being. This is my natal chart from astro.com. Theoretically, I am laid bare before you.

My reaction?
Look at the pretty triangle.

My mother said that when she was pregnant with me she went with my father to visit a friend of his. The woman met my mother and ran upstairs (which, if you've met my mother, would be a perfectly understandable reaction). What is odd is that this woman--supposedly a witch-- came down about twenty minutes later with my chart. She said that I would be headstrong (hell yeah) and other sorts of things, and she said that my father would be an influence on my life-- until I was about seventeen or so. If you know my history, you'll know that my father died a little more than a month before my seventeenth birthday. If she knew his history, it would have been a safe claim to make, as few men on my father's side made it past their fortieth birthdays, much less their fiftieth (my father was fifty when he died).

But that's not the point of this post (really!).

I find the concept of the so-called "occult" (which is just a creepy way of saying "hidden") to be fascinating. According to the woman who interpreted the above chart for me, some astral body is in a house that makes me want to research and uncover the hidden, the unknown, the forgotten. Perhaps, then, it makes sense that I love to research lines of old texts and question imagery in art and literature.

"There are more things in heaven and earth... than are dreamt of in our philosophy."

Yet the skeptic in me (or is it the re-searcher) returns and wonders if my "reading" was based on this woman's knowledge of me, or if the "witch" based her analysis on her knowledge of my father (who could out-stubborn me). Still I fight, caught between the perennial Christian paradox of free will vs. predestination/God's plan, although I left institutional Christianity many years ago.

Perpetually curious, constantly questioning, ever unsatiated.