No Hank-y Panky

Ok, so even though it's a week late (eons in the web world), I'll tell the tale of last Sunday.
(The intro. sounds far more exciting than the truth).
Short version--
eBay. Spamalot. Front row center. Normal (meaning very expensive, like forests) ticket price. Reason(s): See Simon Russell Beale (vs. Tim Curry) as Arthur; See Lauren Kennedy (vs. Sara Ramirez) as Lady of the Lake; See Hank Azaria and David Hyde Pierce before contracts run out and they return to land of real coconuts (not migrating courtesy of African or European swallows). Feed slight Hank Azaria crush (though not of the "leg-humping" variety that [supposedly straight but I'm beginning to wonder] Matt has... have you seen a doctor about that?)
Arrive Shubert (NYC, not New Haven). Man in line behind me earnestly argues "don't go in that line. That's for the play Book by Eddy Idle" (you myopic twit!). Fight off urge to sing "The Man in the Moon Is A Lady" as usual (even though it is NYC, not New Haven). Enter theater lobby. See itty bitty sign with evil blue letters on white board that reads:

THE ROLES USUALLY PLAYED BY HANK AZARIA WILL BE PLAYED BY DREW MCVETY.

*expletive[s] deleted*
Me. Luck. Not.

In Fairness:
Spamalot is a fun show because of the writing and staging, so while a performer's absence may be upsetting, the event still shines. There were some nuances that McVety created that I actually found to have better comedic effect. Simon Russell Beale's performance was intriguing mostly because it reminded me of the differences in style, timing, and effect that (perhaps stereotypically) British-trained actors show. From the outside looking in, it seems that he is one who actually "gets into character." Perhaps it is because he is (except for the Lady of the Lake) the only actor who only plays one character throughout the show. For anyone else to get into character, they'd have to be schizophrenic (though that might not be a stretch [evil grin]). I'm still in awe of David Hyde Pierce's talents and timing (forget feigning lack of bowel control as Sir Robin-- watch him wield that piano power!). Chris Seiber moves in and out of many roles with ease with a range of comic props-- but did he have to (silently) ask DHP if he wanted to get coffee afterwards while God was talking? I have a bit of a soft spot for Michael McGrath, who plays Patsy. When the "Finder of the Grail" was, err, found, she turned out to be a young girl of (I can never tell these things) somewhere between 8 and 12 years of age. As she came on stage, she looked out into the crowd in what must have been utter terror. "Patsy" was so kind (he kissed her on the head) that I think everyone broke out in warm fuzzies (especially after "I'm All Alone").

Cool Things About Sitting in the Front Row:

• You can see how freaking DIRTY those costumes are. WASH THEM!
• Realizing that the 'wooden' stage floor is actually some type of plastic (pergo?) with veneer
• Seeing the hanging trunk of the Black Knight dangling in the orchestra pit
• Watching the pianist in the orchestra pit reading a travel magazine during parts of the show
• Wondering how long it's been since anyone has actually VACUUMED the orchestra PIT
• Having the conducter turn around and say "hi" to us before sticking the back of his head in our faces
• That flying spittle from overemoting actors... yes, it's landing on us.

Drat. Have to go register for C&W, type up that paper I started writing on the train Tuesday, correct essays from heaven knows how long ago, and jump off something tall.

TTFN